Let’s begin with a simple definition: Grandparents are our parents’ parents i.e. the parents of our father and mother. This means that everyone has 2 sets of grandparents which means two different ways of showering love and two completely different experiences. As grandkids, a comparison between our maternal grandparents i.e. ‘nana-nani’ and paternal grandparents i.e. ‘dada-dadi’ always prevails in our minds and we tend to prefer one over the other in different aspects but looking at the whole picture both seem to be perfect in their ways. While dadi feeds us way more than our capacities saying that we are growing weak, nani may act as our dietician saying that we have grown too fat over the days; while dadu may take us for refreshing early morning walks, nanu prefers to sit with us in a 12 X 13 room playing ludo and ‘saanp-seedhi’. But all of this strikes a perfect balance in our lives wherein we are the epicentre of all the love, affection, tenderness yet some strictness, experience and debatable ways of old and new living.
They squeeze out all the relevant experience for us from their blanket of age spanning up to several decades because of their genuine concern and their righteous belief of preparing us beforehand for the upcoming challenges in life so that we could easily fair through the struggles they had faced unprepared in their early stages. As age sets in, their thoughts and maturity moves out; they may act as parents with our parents but with us, their grandkids, they are children even smaller than us. They deserve to be stress-free after working hard their whole life and securing a wonderful future for their family but sometimes talking to them and certain incidents can be hilarious.
Let me tell you an anecdote about my ‘nani’. She is very actively involved in street animals’ welfare and is currently in her 80s. Few years ago, while feeding the street dogs, she had fallen in her veranda due to the formation of a blood clot in her brain; but due to God’s grace, she survived and came home healthy from ICU. Now medically perfect, her fall along with her age have resulted in the wearing of her maturity.
Whenever she visits me, she stays in my room during the night and I am supposed to shift to another one. Now, my nani hears high as her hearing was affected by the fall and there is construction work going on in the building behind my room. So, during the day I keep the door shut to keep out the noise and at night it is supposed to be open for some time for fresh air and ventilation. Now since her fall, nani has turned into a stubborn toddler. One night, she picked up a fight with me to close the door as it concerned her for security reasons. Now, I was in the kitchen washing utensils and shouting at the top of my voice so that it reaches the bedroom where nani was standing that we have secured the balcony with iron rods and no one could break through, but she would just not accept my argument. Hearing my shouts, my father came into the kitchen asking what happened and believe me as soon as my father explained the reason for opening the door and the concept of ventilation to her, she immediately agreed to keep the door open. What was I explaining her then?!
Day finished; matter solved. Fast forward to I am attempting my English literature test during my online class in my room. The back door is closed, construction is going on in full swing. Nani quietly enters the room, opens the back door, goes to comb her hair outside. She comes back in and leaves the door open. I look up from my test, already agitated by the noise with my focus wavering due to the thundering thuds of hammer outside, and ask her to close the door. Now, comes the irony, she comes near me and says that the previous night my father had asked her to keep the door open so that the room can be ventilated well. Test left behind, we had a bit of a row over it, until I gave my concluding line “Nani the door will be closed in any case, either you do it or I will.”
She agreed to close it and said, “I will do it, what’s my loss in it!”
As she was approaching the door to close it, I tried to focus her attention on the noise coming in and asked her to listen to the infuriating construction din, but she said, “I can’t hear anything; it is you people who are chaotic and always complain of sounds and noises while living in such a peaceful environment.”
This is the beauty of living with grandparents, neither you can prove them wrong nor you can justify your point, your only option is to take their stubborn viewpoint while wholly enjoying the moment.
You know what, the special thing about my nani’s deafness is that she hears only what she wants to. When her vote is being seconded, the volume of her ears automatically turns up and when things are at odds, the favourite line is “I am hard of hearing, say it louder or else, we will talk later.”
The more we talk about grandparents, the more we recall, yet fall short of words to describe them. Grandparent is an umbrella term, actually grandparents are themselves umbrellas, protecting our parents and us in different ways and from different conditions but they are of great help. They may act as a guiding stick in dark alleys or a support on hilly terrains and when they open, there is protection from adverse situations and a shower of useful advice, love and real-life stories which can engage you for hours learning about the past.
But, remember, umbrellas are of great use but with time they can also become weak after facing numerous weather conditions, with time their ability to carry you forward may falter but that doesn’t mean you throw it away because it carries a lot of emotional value. It becomes the time when you have to support the stick which helped you reach where you are because no matter what, we have to move forward together.